You are a man. And a manly man at that. You are a master builder – a craftsman. You have tools and friends with tools. You even saved your nephew’s life once with a staple gun and some duct tape after that nasty fishing accident, right? So why would someone like you buy a shot ski? Why not just build one? After all, you have skills and hours and hours of time on your hands.
With this easy step by step guide, we can put all those skills and time to good use and together we will show you have to build an awesome shot ski!
Step one: you need wood.
Yup, you need wood. Big wood. Actually, you need big long hardwood in order to build your shot ski. Wood can be found in many places. One such place is the forest. And sometimes forests grow on mountains – which is good news for you because you are also a skier.
And once you have found that special tree. You know, the one from which you will carve your shot ski, then all you need to do is cut it down. Or run into it seven or eight times and simply knock it down. No problem. Then on to step two.
Step Two: Transport tree back to the workshop
This is an obvious step, but sometimes not well understood. After all, you are going to have to mill the tree and shape it into a ski, right? You need equipment for this. So put your pocket knife back in your pocket and start lifting that tree. The photo below shows the proper technique for tree carrying.
Step Three: Organize your friends to help
With the wood safely back at the workshop the next step is to realize that actually… (a) you have no real woodworking skills (b) your tools are substandard (c) you stole someone’s tree and (d) none of the above has ever stopped you before so why should it now.
At this point, you call your friends for help. After all, you have great friends, and they say they know what they’re doing so clearly, they must know what they are doing, right? Ok then. Here are the guys you call for help.
Step Four: Things go wrong.
Bad news. It turns out that your friends don’t have any real woodworking skills. Now that you look back on it, the fact that none of you are actually woodworkers might have been a clue. But in all the excitement this fact went unnoticed. Luckily no one got seriously hurt (unlike that fishing accident with your nephew) and you did produce a shot ski. This is probably what it looks like:
Step Five: Confusion and anger.
Things did not go as planned. You spent 30 hours. You made a weird stick.
Eventually, you will grieve and then emotionally heal.
But first, it’s important to be confused and angry. And this is your next step.
Begin by asking yourself …why? Look up at the sky as you do this. Try kicking some nearby unrelated object or person. It’s not fair. And it’s confusing after your previous projects went so well. Who would have known?
Step Six: Go to Hammerhead Shots. Buy a shot ski. Tell your friends you made it.
Finally, you stand with your head bowed in mute acceptance of your fate. But wait. All is not lost. Simply go to HammerheadShots.com and buy a super high-quality piece of drinking history. It’s the shot ski you always wanted. And it's just a few clicks away.